When the Excitement is Gone: Coping after the Wedding

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It’s hard to imagine in the weeks and months following your wedding, that you might have feelings of sadness or depression. Unfortunately, experiencing the blues is not uncommon for many brides and grooms who spend the better part of a year planning their wedding, attending events, and investing a great deal of energy into that one moment. Because wedding planning and the activity associated with it comes to a sudden, abrupt ending after the event, many couples find themselves feeling a sense of let-down. While some of that feeling might be related to general physical exhaustion, it is also due, in part, to the emotional crash related to the build-up of anticipation and excitement that precedes your wedding day.

If you are issues related to your ability to cope after the wedding, there are some things you can do.

Connect as a Couple

. In the weeks and months leading up to your wedding, you and your spouse are spending time operating independently. From all-girl bridal showers to all-male bachelor parties, the couple is often engaged in activities that, while related to the wedding, are not done with their partner. As a result, couples sometimes find themselves feeling disconnected from their partner, and must try to find ways to reconnect as a married couple after the wedding is over.

Additionally, learning to live and work together in a new space you are creating may seem difficult. Even if you lived together prior to the wedding, there might be a different sense of responsibility or obligation to your partner. Many couples find themselves feeling embarrassed to share how they feel with their spouse. But it is important that, as a newly-married couple, you communicate openly about your worries and fears so that the two of you can resolve them together.

Remember the Day

. Sharing your best memories or watching your wedding video with your spouse is a way to relive the excitement of the day while remembering the love that brought the two of you together in the first place. Scrapbooking your favorite photos or pressing flowers from your bridesmaids’ bouquets is another way to enjoy the nostalgia that comes from reminiscing about the special moments of the day. There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself opportunities to relive the experience, while concurrently finding a way to keep it at a respectable distance. It is, after all, only one day, and while it is a momentous occasion, there will be many more amazing days to come in your life together.

Stay in Touch

. Many times, couples find themselves feeling isolated from the very people with whom they shared their wedding day. They begin to build a life that involves working and operating as a couple and fall out of touch with friends and family. While it’s important to continue enjoying time alone as you build a new life together, having lunch with your groomsmen or enjoying brunch with the bridesmaids after donating your bridesmaid dresses to one of the many worthy charities that accept them, keep in contact with friends and family.

Consider counseling.

While post-wedding blues are something you can talk about, not all couples know how. By utilizing a third party, like a counselor, you can resolve issues that have arisen during the wedding planning process or in the days and weeks following the wedding. Counseling can help you learn new communication skills and techniques for checking in and connecting with your spouse on a daily basis. It is also useful in helping you learn skills and strategies necessary for problem-solving, compromising, and long-term planning necessary for future marital success. The more effectively you work together, the safer you will feel in expressing your wants and needs and concerns. Research has shown that post-wedding counseling can lead to a reduction in problem intensity and improved communication over time.

Focus on Today.

It’s important to remember that a lifetime of togetherness comes in 24-hour increments over the course of time. Enjoying daily events like sharing a meal and conversation at the end of a long workday can become a fulfilling and exciting part of your life together. Celebrating one other’s successes and commiserating over a disappointment is a way to build a firm foundation of love and support. In our individual lives as well as our life as a couple, the small things matter over the course of time. Practicing effective strategies like expressing gratitude, enjoying activities that make us slow down, and becoming more mindful of ourselves will all lead to an improved quality of life with our partner.

What are some ways you or your partner have attempted to cope after the wedding?